


The Savior

by PandaxoxoDragon



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Bulimia, Cutting, Eventual Smut, I'm horrible at tagging, Jackson is his savior, M/M, Mark is depressed, Suicidal Thoughts, don't know what else to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-03-23 04:31:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3754663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandaxoxoDragon/pseuds/PandaxoxoDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twigger Warning: If you know anybody who has been through this and/or take offence, I suggest you don't read this. This story will contain cutting, bulimia, and suicidal thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>Mark Tuan is an eighteen year old boy, smart and quite good looking. But, nobody knows what he does behind closed doors. You see, he hates the way he is, and is extremely depressed. He cuts multiple times, and is bulimic. Even though he is extememly skinny, nobody notices because he wears baggy clothes all the time. He was a happy kid growing up, but he lost everything when he was in the sixth grade. His mom died, his dad became a drunk, and that's when the bullying started. High school hits, and he hasn't been the same.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And then there's Jackson Wang, the new student from Hong Kong. Always the happy guy who makes lot's of friends. But, when Mark doesn't allow him through his wall, Jackson is determined to find out what is wrong with Mark. But when he finds out what Mark has been hiding, he doesn't really know what to think. Will he run away, or will he become Mark's savior?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I don't suggest anybody read this is they know anybody who has been through this and/or take offence.

**_Drip…drip…drip…_ **

The sound of Mark’s blood dripping into the sink strangely calmed him as he watched the blood flow from the cuts on his wrist. A soft sigh left his lips, pulling his hand away from the sink and grabbing some gauze to wrap his wrist.

Washing the blood from the sink, he stepped out of the bathroom after also fe-breezing the area to cover up the puke smell, even though nobody goes into his room. He walked over to his closet and pulled on something completely random, not really caring about what he wore as long as it was baggy and long sleeved.

“Let’s get this day over with.” He muttered to himself, pulling on a jacket and a pair of shoes before getting up and going downstairs.

He could smell the alcohol from the kitchen mixed in with cooked breakfast, which made his stomach churn sickly. As he passed the kitchen, he waved at his dad. Even though his dad was a drunk, at least he wasn’t abusive.

“Mark, do you want some breakfast?” His dad asked, looking up from his glass of beer as he made some eggs.

“No, dad. I’ll get something from school.” Mark lied, smiling a bit before waving again and picking up his bag from the door. Opening it, he walked out and breathed openly when the smell of food disappeared.

The very thought of food made him want to throw up, since he never ate, he got used to it. But, if he did have to eat to keep up with appearances, he was in the bathroom throwing the food back up.

_‘ **Ugly, Fat, Worthless, Go die.’**_

Those words haunted him ever since middle school, causing him to be very depressed and self-conscious. He never told anybody about his depression, because who would even listen to him? So, he dealt with it on his own, even if it was a dangerous way.

He rubbed his covered arms slightly as he walked towards his school, biting down on his lip with another sigh. He had scars everywhere on his body. Some old, some new, and some re-opened. On his arms, legs, stomach, anywhere he could reach.

Looking up at the sky, Mark thought of his mom, who had died when he was in the 6th grade. He would always go to her if he had problems, and now he missed her dearly. Thinking about her sometimes made him want to cut as well, because he thought her death was his fault even if it was just cancer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting to school, Mark walked into the building and went straight to his locker, weaving through a group of people in order to get to his destination. He never spoke in school, so he usually wasn’t very mannerly, even if he didn’t mean it.

Opening his locker, he put his bag inside and grabbed his materials for the first three classes that he had. Biting down on his lip, he closed his locker and walked towards his Korean language class.

“Hey, Mark.”

Mark looked up as he walked into class, his eyes going towards Jinyoung, the class president who usually tried to befriend Mark most of the time. He nodded in greeting before sitting down in his seat. He rubbed his arms once again, a force of habit since he usually had to remember to keep his sleeves down.

He could feel Jinyoung’s eyes on him, but he ignored it and laid his crossed arms on the desk, placing his head on his arms and closing his eyes as he waited for class to start.

The bell rang five minutes later and he sat up, tapping his pencil gently on his notebook as he watched Mr. Ahn walk into the classroom and set his briefcase on his desk.

“Okay class, before we get started, I have an announcement. We have a new student from Hong Kong coming in today, so please be kind to him after he comes. His name is Jackson Wang.” Mr. Ahn said, looking at each student as he spoke.

Mark leaned his head on his hand, not particularly interested in a new student unlike the rest of the students. He let out a soft sigh and doodled on his notebook for a moment before opening it and taking notes when Mr. Ahn finally started class.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thirty minutes into the middle of the class, there was a knock on the door before it opened. Mr. Ahn smiled and gestured for the male to come closer.

“Class, this is Jackson Wang. Jackson, this is your new class.” Mr. Ahn said, introducing the new student as Jackson smiled at everyone.

Mark glanced up slightly, blinking a little as he looked at Jackson once more. The other man was quite handsome, which made him feel even more self-conscious about himself. He let out a sigh and looked back down at the notebook.

“Alright, Jackson. You can go sit next to Mark. Mark, please raise your hand.” Mr. Ahn announced.

Mark raised his hand slightly, having it high enough for Jackson to see, which the other male did and made his way over to the seat. He sat down and smiled at Mark, to which Mark faked a smile back and looked away.

Mark tuned the class out after that, not wanting to listen as half the class started talking to or about Jackson. He could feel Jackson looking at him periodically, but he ignored it as he worked on the assignment that was assigned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After class was over, it was lunch time, and Mark usually just went out to the courtyard so he didn’t have to smell the food. And as he was about ready to walk the opposite way from the cafeteria, Jackson ran up and greeted him with a smile.

“Hi, just wanted to know if you wanted to have lunch together?” Jackson asked, looking quite hopeful as his puppy like eyes looked at Mark.

Mark hesitated, his stomach churning just at the mention of food, and he could smell it from two feet already. He bit down on his lip and sighed, deciding not to be mean to the new kid and actually go with him.

“Sure.” He said quietly, faking a slight smile before reluctantly following Jackson into the cafeteria.

Trying to ignore his currently churning stomach, he grabbed a tray and filled his tray up with some food, wrinkling his nose when he noticed Jackson piling his own tray quite high with food. The sight made him a bit sickly feeling.

Once they paid for their food, Mark followed Jackson to a table and sat down, putting their trays in fornt of them.

“I’m starving.” Jackson grumbled before digging into his food relatively quick.

Staring down at his own food, Mark swallowed a little, trying to get the lump out of his throat as he hesitantly picked up some of the food and started eating it. Swallowing his food was hard, due to the fact that his stomach was so used to not having food, it wanted to reject it.

He forced it down and grabbed some water, drinking it in order to help wash it down faster. He knew he’d have to go to the bathroom right after to puke it all back up.

Mark could feel Jackson looking at him again, but he ignored it as he ate a few more bites of the food. After maybe five more bites, he pushed the tray away and wiped his mouth, already feeling his stomach start to reject to the food.

“I have to go.” Mark said to Jackson, getting up and throwing his food away as he left the cafeteria, going straight to the bathroom.

Once inside, he ran into one of the stalls and locked it, bending down as he started throwing up seconds later. He didn’t know how long he would be able to keep up appearances with Jackson, hopefully the other male wouldn’t ask.

After ten minutes of throwing up, Mark slumped down against the wall and wiped his mouth with his jacket sleeve, his breathing slightly labored and his throat sore. He coughed a little, biting down on his lip as he felt his stomach calm down seconds later.

He stood up a moment later and walked out of the stall, going to the sink and rinsing his mouth out with water. Sighing, he looked up at the mirror, staring at his features. Every single feature of his was huge, which he hated.

Closing his eyes and turning away from the mirror, he walked out of the bathroom, only to stop when he noticed Jackson leaning against the wall opposite him.

“Are you okay?” The new male asked, shoving off from the wall and approaching Mark.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Mark replied before walking away without saying anything else.

Biting down on his lip, he walked to his second class after the bell rang, cursing silently when Jackson walked in behind him. He really wasn’t going to be able to avoid the new kid when he was constantly gazing at him as if he were trying to figure him out.

Mark didn’t tell anyone about himself, because he would probably scare them away. He had a huge wall inside him and he never spoke to anyone unless he was spoken to.

This would be a long year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The end of school bell rang three hours later and Mark walked out of the last classroom, going straight to his locker and grabbing his bag. His arms were feeling a bit itchy, which was a sign he needed to get home quick.

“Mark!”

Jackson’s voice called from behind Mark, making him wince a little and stop walking. He slowly turned around and watched as Jackson came closer to him.

“What are you doing right now?” Jackson asked, looking like he wanted to hang out with Mark.

“Just going home. I have a lot of homework to do, so I’ll see you tomorrow.” Mark said before leaving the building rather quickly.

He felt bad for leaving rudely, but he needed to get home and do what he usually did when he got home when his arms started itching.

Once he finally arrived home, he ran inside and shut the door, leaning against it for a few seconds before heaving out a sigh and walking upstairs. His dad was at work currently, so it worked even better when he was home alone.

Going into his bathroom once he was in his room, he grabbed his razor from underneath the sink and stripped out of his layers, unwrapping the gauze from his wrist. Biting down on his lip, he let out another sigh as he noticed he didn’t have very many uncut places. So, he decided to re-open some of them.

Biting down on his lip a little too hard and drawing blood, he winced when he dragged the blade over some of the older scars, reopening them like he usually did. As the familiar pain came, he calmed down a bit more and watched the blood like he did this morning.

**_Drip…drip…drip…_ **


	2. Chapter Two

**The** next day, Mark got out of bed reluctantly and mumbled to himself as he limped towards his bathroom, his leg having fallen asleep due to the position he was in previously. Going into the bathroom, he turned on the sink and started washing his face.

After that, he let out a sigh and looked at himself in the mirror. He had taken his shirt off during the night and he could see the many scars along his chest and stomach. He traced some of them, a grim expression on his face.

He wasn’t happy that it all turned out like this, but it was his only way of comfort. He didn’t know any way else, and telling another person about his problems wasn’t what he wanted to do.

“Comfort.” Mark whispered to himself, grabbing hold of his razor and bringing it to his side, sliding it along his hip and hissing lowly when it cut into his skin. Rubbing his eyes with his other hand, he grabbed a washcloth. Wetting it, he wiped at the blood and put it back onto the sink.

“Works every time.” Mark said aloud, a small smile on his face when he started to feel better.

Placing the razor back into its original spot, he put a bit of gauze on his hip and looked back into the mirror, eyeing his rather skinny body. His hips and ribs were protruding, which would be a bad thing, but in Mark’s mind, it was a good thing. He wasn’t really fat anymore.

Mark blinked and turned towards the scale across from the toilet, going over and standing on it. It took a few seconds for it to register, but then the number ‘98’ came up and made Mark frown.

 _‘Too much.’_ He thought to himself before moving away from the scale and turning to the toilet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five minutes later, Mark wiped his mouth and walked out of the bathroom after literally forcing himself to throw up, even if there wasn’t’ anything in his stomach.

“Mark! You have to get ready for school!” Mark’s dad called from the hallway before he opened Mark’s bedroom door to look in at his son, who hurriedly put on a long sleeved shirt before his dad could see anything.

Nodding his head, Mark watched as his dad left the room before getting dressed. He pulled on a pair of sweat pants along with a hoodie over top of his shirt that he had chosen.

Avoiding the bathroom, Mark walked downstairs and grabbed his bag from the door, cracking his knuckles slightly as he passed the kitchen, his stomach churning almost immediately when the smell of food came his way.

“I’m eating at school again, Dad. Sorry.” Mark called from the front door, not waiting for an answer as he opened the door and stepped outside, squinting a little when the sun shone in his eyes.

With a long sigh, Mark walked along the sidewalk to get to school, earphones in his ears as he listened to music, which was also a way to calm him down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark got to school within ten minutes, his footsteps slowing slightly as he saw that a lot of students were out in the courtyard. They usually were, but it was a lot this time, which made him nervous.

Hands starting to clam up, Mark tried to find an easier route as he walked to the side, weaving through some people. 

“Excuse me.” Mark muttered softly, to which nobody heard because he was being too quiet.

Sighing, Mark felt slight panic start to cloud over his thoughts and he sped up a little, weaving through as many people as he could before tripping over someone’s bag seconds later, falling onto the ground with a light ‘thud’.

“Mark?”

Mark heard the voice first before strong hands grabbed him by the arm to help him up. With a slight grunt, Mark remained standing and opened his eyes to look at Jackson, who was looking at him worriedly.

“Are you okay, Mark?” Jackson asked, seeming to have been asking that question a lot since yesterday.

Mark nodded his head, wringing his fingers for a few seconds before turning away from Jackson and walking up to the entrance, clutching his bag to his chest as he entered the building and went to his locker.

When he made it to his locker, Mark bit down on his lip and opened it, putting his bag inside and collecting the books he’d need for his first class.

“Mark.” Jackson said from behind him, making Mark jump when a hand landed on his shoulder.

Placing a hand on his chest and taking a deep breath, Mark turned and faced Jackson, eyeing him for a moment.

“I’m fine, Jackson. I really am. How bout we go to the mall later after school?” Mark asked, surprised at himself for saying that, but he wanted to change the subject, not wanting anybody to worry about him.

Jackson was also surprised by that, but he nodded a moment later with a slight smile, although his eyes kept that worry in them. “Yeah, sure. Meet at your locker after school?” He asked.

Nodding dazedly,  Mark shut his locker and walked to class, cursing himself for saying anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is short, I'll try to make the upcoming chapters longer.


	3. Chapter Three

After the school day ended with nothing really eventful happening, unless you could count one guy getting kicked out of class for telling Mr. Wu that he had to go take a piss in English.

Mark let out a resigned sigh, pulling his hood up and going over to his locker, only to pause for a second when he noticed that Jackson was at his locker. When he remembered the conversation from earlier that morning, he groaned softly, the familiar itch coming once more, but he suppressed it as he approached his locker.

“Hi.” Jackson said, having noticed Mark come up to the locker. He fixed his snapback and smiled gently at Mark, eyeing him a little.

Mark nodded in greeting, putting in his locker combination and opening it. He put his books away and grabbed his bag, closing his locker again and facing Jackson.

“Shall we go?” Mark asked, not waiting for an answer as he stepped around Jackson and walked towards the exit of the building.

“Hey, slow down! We can take my car.” Jackson said just as they walked out of the building, grabbing hold of Mark’s wrist and pulling him back a little.

Hissing lowly, Mark made a face and shook his hand out of Jackson’s hold, feeling the burn from this morning’s cut. He managed to control his expression though when Jackson looked at him once more.

“Yeah, sure.” Mark muttered, really starting to regret choosing to hang out with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they arrived at the mall thirty minutes later, they got out of Jackson’s car and headed for the entrance.

Mark slid his hands in his pockets and shook his hair out of his eyes, letting out a soft sigh as he walked beside Jackson. He was trying to suppress the burning itch to cut, but it was proving to be quite difficult. He’d have to possibly ask Jackson to hurry while they were in the mall, so he can get home.

“You don’t usually go out, do you?” Jackson asked, interrupting Mark’s train of thought.

“Not really.” Mark replied, clicking his tongue slightly and walking into the mall, wincing a little when he heard loud voices everywhere.

Jackson was silent for a moment as he looked at Mark, tilting his head and looking him over before nodding and throwing an arm over Mark’s shoulders, not noticing when Mark tensed at the contact.

“Let’s go buy some music, and then possibly get you some new clothes.” Jackson said, laughing a high pitched laugh.

Mark bit down on his lip, reluctantly going with the younger and ducking from under Jackson’s arm so they didn’t have any more contact. He hated it when other people touched him because it just didn’t feel right to him.

They walked into the music store five minutes later and Jackson took hold of Mark’s wrist again, taking him towards a music section that he liked.

 _‘I’m going to be fine.’_ Mark thought to himself, taking a deep breath as he tried not to think of the sting the cut was creating as the gauze pressed into it.

He tried to keep up as Jackson rattled on and on about the music he liked, but he tuned out occasionally, only following the younger when he walked to different sections. When Jackson was finally done, he went up to the counter and paid for the CD’s he chose.

“Don’t you want anything?” Jackson asked, looking at Mark.

Mark shook his head, rocking back and forth on his heels as he walked out of the music store with Jackson following him. As said, Jackson lead Mark towards a clothes store and went inside, already knowing what he wanted.

Mark decided that if he wanted Jackson to quit asking him if he wanted anything, he chose a pair of skinny jeans that he probably wouldn’t even end up wearing. Not bothering to try them on, he went up to the counter and paid for them with what money he actually had. Now, he just had to wait for Jackson to get done.

It took five pairs of skinny jeans and some oddly looking pants that looked like someone pooped in them, and a few black shirts for Jackson to finally get done with clothes shopping. He paid for all of them and walked out with Mark following him.

“Do you want to go to the food court, or do you want me to take you home?” Jackson asked, looking at Mark with a kind smile.

“Take me home, if you don’t mind.” Mark said, clutching his own bag to his side, avoiding the look Jackson was giving him when he refused the food court.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they were back in the safety of Jackson’s car, Mark placed his bag down at his feet as Jackson put his own in the back seat of his car.

“Okay, just tell me your address and we can go.” Jackson said, letting out a small chuckle as he put on his seatbelt.

Mark told him his address and leaned his head against the window, closing his eyes and relaxing gently as he fell asleep, shifting only slightly to get comfortable.

When he finally came to, Jackson was shaking him gently to wake him up.

“Mark, we’re here.” Jackson whispered softly, leaning away from the older and sitting back in his seat.

Mark sat up and squinted at his house, letting out a soft yawn and picking his bag up. He licked his lips and looked at Jackson, who was staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Um, thanks for the ride.” Mark said, feeling slightly awkward. He opened the car door and shut it as he got out of the car, going up to the house and walking inside.

What he didn’t know, was that when he was asleep, Jackson had seen some of his cuts when his shirt sleeve shifted to reveal them.


	4. Chapter Four

|First half is Jackson’s P.O.V.|

Jackson didn’t sleep a wink that night, and now it was morning and he was standing by his car in the school parking lot, lost in his thoughts.

 _‘Is Mark cutting?’_ He thought to himself, a deep frown set on his lips as he remembered the image of Mark’s wrist last night in the car.

Normally, he wouldn’t really bothering to think so hard about something like that, but it bothered him for some reason. Of course he didn’t like it when anybody harmed themselves, but with Mark, it was an intensified feeling because he cared about Mark.

He sighed and cracked his knuckles, his eyes zeroing in on a figure that had just arrived at the school entrance. It was Mark. He could tell because Mark always wore baggy clothes and a black jacket with the hood up. Biting his lip, Jackson decided to just act like he normally did with Mark, not wanting him to know that he found out.

Going into the school, Jackson walked over to Mark’s locker and cleared his throat to announce his presence.

“Hey, how’d you sleep?” He asked, leaning against the other locker to look at Mark, observing him slightly.

The red head had bags under his eyes, which was an obvious hint that he got little to no sleep. He was also looking paler than before, which triggered a reason in Jackson’s head. He bit his lip and looking over Mark’s skinny frame before staring into his eyes.

“I slept fine.” Mark muttered, obviously not wanting to deal with Jackson first thing in the morning.

Not wanting to call him out on his lie, Jackson nodded and walked with him to class, deciding to go with silence for a while.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark sat down in Mr. Wu’s class and crossed his arms on the surface, letting out a soft sigh and laying his head atop them. He glanced out the window, noticing that it was going to be quite the rainy day. Great. Weather to match his mood.

He snuck his hand into one of his jacket sleeves and scratched at the gauze that was wrapped around his wrist, but the gauze was going all the way up to his forearm. He had a rather depressing time last night, like he always did, but he happened to cut a long line from his wrist all the way to his forearm. There was blood everywhere and he couldn’t wrap his arm good enough.

That was when his dad walked into the room and saw what was going on. But, he was drunk, so he didn’t say anything as he helped Mark wrap his arm. Being drunk caused his dad not to remember things, so Mark was thankful for once that his dad drank all the time.

He opened his eyes a moment later to look at Jackson, who looked away when he was caught staring. He had no idea what was going on with him, but he decided not to question it.

Letting out a sigh when Mr. Wu walked into the room, Mark lifted his head and got out his notebook, staring blankly at the white pages as he listened to Mr. Wu’s assignment of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its short, I'll do better next time.


	5. Chapter Five

When class was over, Mark packed up his stuff and left the class in a hurry, wanting to be away from Jackson’s uncomfortable blatant gazing. He walked into the bathroom and set his stuff down onto the ground and moved his sleeves up on his arms.

He looked down at his arms for a moment before ripping the gauze off in frustration, wincing a little when the tape from the gauze ripped at the almost healed cut. It started bleeding within a few seconds and Mark sighed, grabbing his razor that he took with him at times.

He didn’t want to make new marks on his wrist, so he lifted his shirt and eyed the various scars before pressing the blade to a clean spot on his stomach. He dug into his stomach before dragging the razor to the left, biting his lip and closing his eyes. He had needed to feel the pain again for a few hours.

“Pain is good.” He mumbled to himself, blinking a little before making several more cuts in his skin.

He dropped the razor into the sink and looked up into the mirror, seeing all the scars on his stomach and the currently bleeding cuts. He looked down at the cut on his arm, which was starting to bleed rapidly now that the gauze was gone.

He slowly slid down to the ground and tilted his head back against the wall, letting out a soft breath and staring at the ceiling. He knew he was loopy and was going to pass out eventually. But, he found himself not caring. Nobody would care about him, so it would be fine if he only left the world a little while.

Mark flinched slightly when the door of the bathroom opened, but what made him groan a little was when he recognized the voice of the person.

“Mark? What the hell, man. Why would you do this to yourself?” Jackson asked, but his voice was getting further away.

Mark smiled slightly and glanced up at Jackson’s panic-stricken face, tilting his head a little with what strength he had.

“Pain is good.” He repeated, closing his eyes.

“What? Mark! Don’t fall asleep!” Jackson yelled, and Mark could feel that he was being moved around.

_“Mark!”_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Opening his eyes, Mark stared up at a white ceiling and blinked, confused. He moved his head around when he heard a strange beeping noise and saw that he was attached to a heart monitor.

“What the hell?” He mumbled, looking down at himself and realizing he had gauze wrapped around every single part of his body.

“You’re awake.”  A voice said, making Mark look up to the door of the room, noticing Jackson.

“Jackson? Why the hell would you bring me here?!?” Mark asked, frustration clear on his face as he sat up in the bed.

Jackson went over to the hospital bed and sat down in one of the chairs, biting his lip as he looked at the red head.

“You need help, Mark. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.” He said at last, wringing his hands together.

Mark stared at Jackson, rage filling up inside him. He was pissed off at the fact that someone like Jackson would think he needed help.

“I’m fine, Jackson. It’s none of your business what I do to myself.” Mark seethed, paying no mind to the way Jackson flinched at his words.

“On the contrary, Mr. Tuan, I do believe it is his business. He is the one that brought you here. Now, its our business to help you.” A new voice said and Mark threw a glare at the door, watching as a doctor came into the room.

“I don’t need help!” Mark yelled, kicking the blanket off and ripping the IV needle out of his arm. He barely flinched because he was used to all the pain. He stood up from the bed and went to take a few steps toward the door, but he stumbled and fell forward, only to be caught by Jackson.

Mark glared at Jackson as the younger male put him down on the bed, looking away from him as the doctor called one of the nurses to put in a new IV in him.

“You do need help, Mr. Tuan. Badly. You’ve cut all over your body, and if you do it anymore, there’s a possibility that you could die.” The doctor said.

“So what? Maybe I want to die.” Mark snapped angrily, looking away and gazing out the window. He felt angry tears start to fall from his eyes and he wiped them away hurriedly.

The doctor let out a soft sigh and when the nurse finished up, he left the room to give the young man some space, knowing he needed it.

“Mark? You kno-“

“Don’t even start with me, Jackson. I knew it was a bad idea trying to be your friend. Just leave me alone.” Mark said, interrupting Jackson as he moved to his side.

One thing was for sure. He hated Jackson Wang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how long this fic will be going on for, I may end it at chapter fifteen or something.


	6. Chapter Six

When Mark was finally let out of the hospital a couple days later, since the doctor had to keep watch on him, he let out a sigh of relief when he walked out. But, the relief only lasted a couple seconds when he stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw.

His father was looking straight at him from the sidewalk, a look of disappointment mixed in with love in his eyes. Mark didn’t need that right now. He just wanted to be alone.

“Mark, please stop hurting yourself.” The older man said, his words not slurring one bit.

 _‘He’s sober for once.’_ Mark thought to himself before he glared at his dad.

“I’m not in the mood to talk, dad. I just want to go home.” He said, getting into the car and buckling up.

The doctor had told him that he needed to go to therapy, and he would’ve refused if Jackson wasn’t there. The shithead decided to promise the doctor that he would take Mark to the therapy sessions himself to make sure that he actually went.

Jackson had gone home early yesterday, something about needing to attend with his family. He promised Mark that he would be by his house to check up on him. Not like Mark would ever want him around this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they arrived at the house, Mark got out of the car and headed up to his room quickly. He walked into his room and went into the bathroom, opening the cabinets and cursing when he noticed that his razors were gone.

So, they had told his dad to collect anything that Mark could use to harm himself.

“Fucking stupid doctors.” He muttered to himself before going back into his room and plopping down on the bed with a sigh.

He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, looking at the long cut that had scarred over the last couple days while he was in the hospital. The nurses had taken note of all the scars on his body and took his weight. They had tried to get him to eat, but he threw it up since he couldn’t keep it down.

Mark looked up when the door to his bedroom opened, his eyes narrowing when he watched his dad come into the room.

“Look, Mark. I’m sorry for not noticing before. I want to help you and maybe we could help each other.” The older man said, bringing the chair from Mark’s desk around and sitting in it.

“Help each other with what?” Mark asked, his voice low. Yes, he was clearly still pissed off.

Mark’s dad paused for a moment, watching his son for a moment before letting out a sigh.

“We can help each other with our urges. I want to get my drinking under control, and you obviously need help with your urge of harming yourself. We can at least try, Mark.” He said, running a hand through his graying hair.

Mark watched his father, feeling a bit bad for always having ignored him after his mom died. He missed his mom a lot, and he knew that his father did too.

With his mom, he could tell her anything. But, things started getting worse after she died and he grew further apart from his dad. But, he didn’t know if he could talk with him about things like that.

“We can try.” He said finally, letting out a sigh.

He wouldn’t be making any promises, because he needed the pain. Pain helped him cope with things. And now Jackson ruined that for him.

 _‘Stop thinking about the jerk.’_ Mark thought to himself and looked at his dad.

“Alright, well I threw all the bottles of liquor out so it would be easier. I also threw your razors away and anything sharp. We can do this, son.” Mark’s dad said, getting up and walking out of the room a moment later.

Mark let out a sigh and stood up from the bed, going downstairs after a little while. He needed air, so he would go to the park.

“I’ll be back in a little while.” He announced before walking out of the house.

He let out a deep breath, glancing up at the sky as he made his way to the park.

_‘Can I do this?’_


	7. Chapter Seven

When he got to the park a few minutes later, Mark sat down on one of the benches with a heavy sigh, glancing down at his bandaged arms. He didn’t know if he could actually stay strong and not cut, but he had promised his dad. So, he had to at least try.

He couldn’t help but push all his hateful thoughts to Jackson, because he was the one that brought him to the hospital. And now he apparently needed to go see a therapist. He didn’t want that at all. Not one bit.

“Why can’t life go the way I want it to?” He asked aloud to nobody in particular and sighed again, raking a hand through his hair.

He could feel his skin start to itch with that oh so familiar urge, but he tried to ignore it, digging his blunt nails into the palm of his hand, hoping that it would at least help with the urges.

He stayed at the park for a while before getting up and heading home once more, hating it even more when he realized he needed to go to school tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking into his house, he nodded at his dad before going upstairs, changing into some basketball shorts and a white tank top. He crawled under the blankets and fell asleep a few seconds later.

He woke up the next morning with a slight groan, hiding under his blanket in order to avoid the bright light shining through his window. He let out a tired sigh and stumbled out of bed, going into the bathroom.

Like he usually did whenever he got up, he opened his cabinet to grab his razor, but froze when he realized that he didn’t have a razor anymore.

Growling in frustration, he grabbed a package of soap and threw it against the wall, taking a few deep breaths.

It would be harder than he thought.

Leaving the bathroom after angrily brushing his teeth, he pulled on some clothes and walked downstairs, finding his dad drinking some coffee.

Not really in the mood for talking, he left without eating anything, as usual. He walked along the sidewalk for a few minutes until he heard feet stomping along the sidewalk.

“Mark! Wait up!” A familiar voice said, making Mark remember why he hated that voice.

When Jackson finally caught up to Mark, he panted a little and looked at the red head, noticing that he looked rather annoyed.

“How are you doing?” He asked, a bit timidly because he knew how sensitive Mark was.

“How do you think I’m doing? You took away my only outlet at comfort. “ Mark growled out, walking a bit faster in order to ditch the younger male.

“You were only killing yourself, Mark. I wanted to help!” Jackson shouted after the red head, running to catch up with him again.

Mark stopped all of a sudden, to which Jackson stopped just in time to avoid colliding with him. He blinked  a little when Mark turned to look at Jackson with cold eyes.

“Leave. Me. Alone.” Mark said, voice low and cold before he walked away again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Making it to school a few minutes later, Mark walked through the entrance and went to his locker, collecting his things before slamming the locker door shut quite loudly. He ignored it when a few other students jumped and turned to look at him, going towards his class.

Sitting down in his seat, he was determined to ignore Jackson when he walked into the room as well, but unfortunately, Jackson sat next to him.

“Are you ever going to talk to me?” Jackson whispered timidly, almost afraid that Mark would snap again. That would be good.

He chose to ignore him, opting to look out the window before class started. When the teacher finally came in and started class, Mark closed his eyes and rested his head on his crossed arms, letting out a soft sigh.

He felt Jackson move closer to him, but he chose to ignore it until he felt lips at his ear. And what Jackson said shocked him completely.

**_‘You aren’t broken, you know? You’re beautiful.’_ **


	8. Chapter Eight

‘ _You’re beautiful.’_

Those words have been in Mark’s mind ever since school ended that day. He hadn’t expected that at all, but he chose not to let it get to him as he ignored Jackson for rest of that time.

“Mark! Do you want to study at my house?” Jackson said as he caught up with the red head.

The older of the two let out a small sigh and he closed his eyes for a few moments before opening them again to look at Jackson.

“No, I don’t want to go anywhere with you. You seem to have forgotten that I want nothing to do with you after what you did.” Mark said, steeling an icy glare at the raven haired male before he turned and walked out of the building.

“After what I did? Mark, I’m just trying to help!” Jackson called, running to catch up with the red head again.

Mark whirled on him and pushed him away, his patience snapping.

“I don’t want your help, Jackson! Can’t you see that? I’m not fixable, I may be in your eyes, but I’m not.” He said, pushing the younger again before he turned and ran off, leaving Jackson staring after him with wide eyes.

When he made it home a couple minutes later, he walked inside and went into the kitchen to greet his dad, but he stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw.

His dad was drinking again. Their promise broken.

But what was worse was that he had taken their old photo albums out, looking through pictures of him, Mark, and Mark’s mom.

“Dad?” He asked, his voice loud and clear.

The old man jumped a little and stared up at his son, eyes bloodshot red from either crying or drinking.

“Mark.” The man said, not really knowing what else to say.

Mark scoffed, shaking his head before he turned and walked upstairs, ripping his jacket off in the process. He slammed the door to his dad’s rom open and trashed the whole place to look for his razors. After finding them in the sock drawer, he went into his own bathroom and let out a small sigh.

He lifted his hand and dragged the razor over his palm, sighing in relief when the familiar pain invaded all his senses. He closed his eyes, biting his lip as tears welled up in his eyes.

The tears weren’t from the pain, they were from frustration.

“Mark!”

Mark let out a groan when he heard Jackson’s voice. Why the hell did he have to come into his house?  He heard footsteps running up the stairs until they got to his room, then the bathroom door open.

Jackson stared at him through the reflection of the mirror, eyeing Mark’s bleeding hand and the razor.

“Y-You promised your dad.” Jackson said, stuttering a little.

“Really? He broke the promise first. I needed this.” Mark snapped, looking away.

Jackson growled lowly and moved to turn Mark around, slamming him up against the bathroom wall.

“Why the fuck are you so selfish? There are people who care about you, Mark! Why can’t you see that?!?” Jackson asked, eyes angry.

Mark pushed Jackson away from him and huffed out a sarcastic laugh.

“Who would even care about me?” He asked, although he tried to sound tough, he only sounded childlike.

“I do, Mark! I care.” Jackson said, trying to sound less angry.

Mark watched as Jackson grabbed some cloth and wrapped his hand silently before pulling him out of the bathroom.

“I meant it when I said you were beautiful. You just have to believe me.” Jackson whispered, pulling Mark into a hug.

Mark stood still, not returning the hug as he stared at the wall. He didn’t believe Jackson one bit. Nobody cared about him. Nobody.


	9. Chapter Nine

Mark sat down on his bed, silent as he glared at the back of Jackson’s head. The younger male had cleaned up Mark’s newest cut, and now he was talking his head off about something Mark couldn’t care less about.

“Could you just please shut up and leave?” He asked finally, interrupting Jackson.

The younger looked at him with a puppy look in his eyes, obviously pouting. He let out a sigh and plopped down next to Mark, smiling at him.

“How about we go out tonight? We can go see a movie or something.” Jackson suggested, gazing at the red head.

Mark sighed and ran a hand through his hair, glaring at the brunette. He was clearly not going to leave him alone, so the older of the two might as well deal with it.

“Fine. We can go see a movie.” He mumbled.

Smiling widely, Jackson leaned forward and kissed Mark on the forehead, chuckling softly.

“Alright. I’m going to go to my house for a while and then I’ll come to pick you up.” Jackson said before finally leaving the room.

Mark blinked a little and touched his forehead, cursing at Jackson in his head. He sighed again and got up, getting ready for his hang out with Jackson tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When it was around 5:40, Jackson came back and walked inside without any permission. Mark was currently in the living room, his skin itching as he glared at his dad. His dad wasn’t drinking at the moment, and he could tell that the older man felt bad for breaking his promise.

“Um, are you ready to go?” Jackson asked, feeling the tension.

Mark nodded and got up, walking out of the house with Jackson and getting into his car. He glanced out the windshield and pulled at a string on his shirt as Jackson got into the car as well and drove off to the movie cinema.

Once they arrived, Mark followed Jackson inside and looked at the movie selection.

“What do you want to watch?” Jackson asked, throwing an arm around Mark’s shoulders.

“I don’t really care. You can pick.” Mark mumbled, shrugging off Jackson’s arm before going to the snack counter.

Jackson got everything before following Mark and buying some snacks, figuring that Mark would actually eat this time. He then grabbed Mark’s wrist and lead him into the room that the movie would be showing in.

Once they were sitting down and comfortable, Jackson glanced at Mark and smiled, offering him some food.

“No, thanks.” He mumbled, leaning back into his seat.

Jackson sighed, about to say something else before the lights dimmed and the movie started playing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the movie was over, Mark let out a sigh and stood up, stretching a bit. He looked at Jackson and chuckled softly, noticing that he was asleep.

“Wake up.” He grumbled, shaking the younger.

Jackson opened his eyes and stood up as well, letting out a sigh as he stretched. He smiled at Mark and walked out of the room with him.

When they had walked out of the cinema and made it back to Jackson’s car, the younger male stopped the older.

“Look, Mark. I really like you okay? I don’t like it when you hurt yourself.” He said, grasping Mark’s wrist.

When Mark made to pull away, Jackson pulled him closer. They stared at each other for a moment before Jackson leaned forward and pressed his lips against Mark’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is almost over. Just a few more chapters.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday Mark!

|Smut ahead|

Mark froze when Jackson kissed him, eyes wide. He blinked when Jackson pulled away, staring at him for a moment.

“I’ve liked you for some time, Mark. Just, please give me a chance to make you happy.” Jackson said, taking hold of the red head’s hand.

Mark had tried to deny it, but he couldn’t anymore. The effect Jackson had on him was undeniable. He had found himself slowly gaining happiness when Jackson was around. He no longer hated him, because it was pointless hating someone that was obviously trying to help him.

He let out a sigh and looked down at their hands, biting his lip. He pulled Jackson closer and pecked his lips gently.

“Are you sure you want to like someone with so many scars?” He asked in a whisper, staring in Jackson’s eyes.

“I’m positive.” Jackson replied, taking hold of the back of Mark’s neck and pulling him into a gentle kiss, sucking on his bottom lip gently.

“Let’s go back to my place.” He whispered a moment later, to which Mark agreed as they got into Jackson’s car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they arrived at Jackson’s house, Mark got out of the car and followed Jackson to the door, biting his lip as the younger of the two unlocked the door and allowed Mark to walk in first.

Mark looked around, noticing that it was rather Jackson like, if that was even a thing. He hummed in approval before grunting softly when Jackson pressed him up against the wall.

“I’ll show you how beautiful you are.” Jackson whispered before kissing the red head, humming softly as he pressed his body against Mark’s.

Mark kissed back, fingers tangling in Jackson’s hair and pulling the younger closer. He moaned softly when Jackson nibbled on his bottom lip, parting his lips. He smiled when he felt Jackson’s tongue tangling with his own, letting the younger explore.

He gasped softly when Jackson lifted him up, making him wrap his legs around Jackson’s waist. He pulled away with a low chuckle and leaned down to kiss the slightly shorter male’s neck, sucking on it gently.

“You’re quite the tease.” Jackson mumbled as he made his way to his room.

Mark chuckled softly, continuing to kiss Jackson’s neck as they made it to his room. He felt the mattress underneath him as Jackson set him down. He pulled away and looked up at the younger male, suddenly feeling rather nervous.

Jackson picked up on what he was feeling and smiled, leaning down to gently peck his lips.

“No matter how many scars you have, I won’t judge you. I will still think you’re beautiful.” Jackson whispered, caressing Mark’s cheek gently with the tips of his fingers.

Mark smiled a little and leaned up to kiss Jackson for a few seconds before pulling away again and settling into the pillow beneath his head, allowing Jackson to control the situation.

Jackson smiled and took his own shirt off, throwing it to the floor beside the bed. He paused for a moment, smiling when he felt Mark touch his chest.

“You’re perfect.” Mark whispered, hiding the envy that he was currently feeling.

He watched as Jackson undid his belt, pulling out his belt loops. He threw that to the floor as well before starting on his jeans. He got the button unbuttoned before he stopped and took hold of Mark’s shirt.

“Remember, I won’t judge you.” Jackson whispered before taking Mark’s shirt off.

Mark closed his eyes, not wanting to look as Jackson gazed over his chest. Scars were littered across every part of Mark’s torso. Some old. Some new.

“Beautiful.” He heard Jackson whisper and he opened his eyes to look at the younger, noticing that he had a warm smile on his face.

Mark felt tears start to fall from his eyes, but he brushed them away and pulled Jackson back down, kissing him desperately.

Jackson responded to the kiss for a few seconds before pulling away and moving his hand down to Mark’s jeans, pulling them off.

Mark watched this time as Jackson gazed at the scars on his legs, the same warm smile on his face. He let out a whimper and touched Jackson’s chest again, gaining the younger’s attention.

“Take your pants off.” Mark mumbled, reaching for the button of Jackson’s jeans and unbuttoning them.

With a small chuckle, Jackson pushed his jeans down, along with his boxers. He reached for Mark’s boxers and took them off as well. He smiled at the red head and reached over to his nightstand, opening it to pull out the lube.

Mark spread his legs as Jackson settled between them. He stared up at the younger, eyeing his features for a few seconds.

Jackson looked into Mark’s eyes as he squirted some lube onto his fingers and smiled, leaning down to kiss him. He slid two of his fingers in Mark’s entrance and slowly pushed them in.

Mark took a deep breath and responded to the kiss, tangling his fingers in Jackson’s hair as he tried to distract himself from the uncomfortable feeling.

A few minutes later, Mark moaned when Jackson’s fingers brushed against a bundle of nerves inside him, arching his back a little.

“P-Please, hit it again.” Mark whimpered, tugging on Jackson’s hair.

Instead of complying with the red head’s wish, he instead pulled his fingers out, much to the older male’s dismay.

Mark watched as Jackson spread some lube onto his cock, biting his lip as Jackson laid between his legs again and placed his cock at Mark’s entrance.

“Are you ready?” Jackson asked, pressing small kisses to Mark’s chest.

When Mark nodded, Jackson gently pushed in, holding onto Mark’s hips. He stopped once he was in, letting Mark adjust.

Mark took a deep breath and willed himself to relax, closing his eyes as Jackson kissed the scars on his torso.

“Move.” Mark whispered once he was adjusted enough and the pain had dulled.

Jackson moved one hand to rest on the bed beside Mark’s head, pulling out before moving back in with a low groan.

Mark moaned when Jackson began moving inside him, wrapping his legs around Jackson’s waist and pulling him closer so he would go deeper. He cried out gently, nails digging into Jackson’s back.

“J-Jackson!” Mark moaned out, making Jackson groan and dig his hips into Mark’s as he pushed in faster.

He moved up a little and kissed Mark, muffling his moans as he kissed the older male sloppily. He pulled away a moment later and slid his lips down to Mark’s neck, sucking at the skin and leaving a hickey.

“I-I’m close!” Mark moaned out a moment later, a small cry of pleasure escaping him.

Jackson pulled away and reached down to take hold of Mark’s cock, pumping it in time of his thrusts. He watched as Mark came a moment later, groaning as Mark’s walls tightened around his cock. His hips stuttered as he came seconds after the older male.

Mark moaned softly, panting a little as Jackson pulled out and rolled to the side, pulling Mark into his side.

“Tell me again.” He mumbled, snuggling into Jackson’s chest.

“You’re beautiful.” Jackson whispered, kissing the top of Mark’s head.

With a smile, Mark fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Mark woke up and stared at Jackson as the younger slept, letting out a soft sigh.

“I’ll get better, Jackson. I promise.” He whispered.

_‘I promise.’_


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Two Years Later….**

Mark let out a soft sigh as he walked out of the rehab center, rubbing at his wrists self-consciously as the person at the gate watched him. He had checked himself into the rehab center two years ago so he could get better for himself and Jackson.

Speaking of Jackson, Mark smiled when he saw his boyfriend waiting for him outside the gate. He laughed and ran towards the blonde, throwing himself in his boyfriend’s strong arms and hugging him.

“I missed you.” Mark mumbled, laying his head on Jackson’s shoulder.

“Missed you too. A lot.” Jackson replied, a smile on his face.

Pulling away from the embrace, Mark took the time to look at his boyfriend, who had been there for him when he thought he didn’t need help. He himself had decided to go to rehab because he wanted to get better.

“How’s my dad?” Mark asked a moment later, almost too afraid to even mention his father.

Jackson let out a soft sigh and ran his fingers along Mark’s cheek, the latter tilting his head at the contact.

“He’s isolated himself. He blames himself for everything and doesn’t even let anybody visit him.” Jackson mumbled, sighing once more.

Mark sighed as well, not really knowing what to think of that. His dad’s drinking had gotten worse. His father nearly went on a rampage of drinking when Mark had announced he was going to the rehab center.

“No need to worry about that now. You just got out of that place so we can go somewhere to celebrate your new found freedom. Anywhere you want to go?” Jackson said, taking Mark out of his thoughts.

“I want to go to the beach.” Mark said, an excited smile on his face as he pecked Jackson’s lips.

“To the beach it is then.” Jackson said with a chuckle, opening the passenger door for Mark.

~~~~~~~

When they were at the beach an hour later, Mark immediately got out of the car and ran towards the water, taking his shoes off as he went.

Letting out a relieved breath, he stepped through the water and held his hands out, looking up towards the sky with a bright smile.

He let out a surprised laugh when arms wrapped around him from behind, smiling when Jackson kissed the back of his neck.

“It feels so good to be free.” Mark said.

“I’m proud of you, Mark. I love you.” Jackson said, turning Mark around and giving him a gentle kiss on the lips.

“I love you too.” Mark replied, wrapping his arms around Jackson’s neck and pulling him into another kiss.

Mark couldn’t be any happier now that he was free from all the urges to harm himself. He no longer cut, but he was still working on gaining an appetite back since he had a hard time keeping food down still. But, he knew that through time, he’d be back to how he was before his depression started.

He pulled away from the kiss and looked at Jackson, smiling at him.

“Thank you for being persistent with me even when I tried to ignore you. You saved me.” He mumbled.

“I didn’t save you, Mark. You saved yourself.” Jackson said, confusion in his eyes.

Mark shook his head and smiled, tangling his fingers in Jackson’s hair.

“I may have, but you were there with me when I made the decision. You’re my savior.” He said.

Jackson took in his words for a moment before smiling gently and pulling the older of the two into a hug, looking out at the water.

Mark hummed in content and looked out at the water as well, laying his head on Jackson’s chest. He never knew that falling in love would help him become better. Rehab wasn’t even what motivated him. Jackson was.

Jackson was his savior, and he knew that the younger would always be there for him.


End file.
